I got a surprise visitor!
I didn’t think I was going to see him for two weeks but I just saw him Monday and he made a trip to Philly for me. Is it loooove? Psych. But seriously sometimes I don’t mind being a relationship type thing.
A person’s face when they find out I just started having sex is almost as priceless as when they find out I recently turned 18.
The fuck
Him: What would you do if I accidentally came on your face?Me: You can't "accidentally" cum on my face.
Him: We'll see.
Here’s what it is
We can’t be together because I don’t trust you. And using the loveliest of cliches, I will say that’s it’s me not you.
I wish I could sum up everything I wanted to say but to me that seems pointless.
I’m watching Hancock right now.
Completely forgot the part where the nigga gets a head shoved up the ass.
Ehhh every time
I go to my aunt’s house, I end up watching UFC. Soo bloody - this nigga is bleeding all over the place. I’ve never seen it get this bad. And Velasquez is basically rolling in his opponent’s blood.
Close call there.
I pierced my belly button a few months ago. Everyone knows except my grandma; she’s very old school. For example, she cried when I pierced my cartilage so God forbid I tell her about this.
Anyways, she starts rubbing my stomach so I pull away quickly. She’s like, “Omgosh, what’s wrong?”. The best lie I could come up with was that I have a bug bit that gets itchy all the time and I’m trying not to scratch it. Lol damn, I just put my head down because is that honestly the best lie I could come up with?! Whatever, she bought it and went off to pray - dodged that bullet.
I guess we can both be smart asses.
Him: *Comes out the bathroom*Me: Did you wash your hands?
Him: I can't believe you asked that.
Me: I'm just saying, you're touching your dick and shit, but then you don't wash your hands...smh.
Him: Well I have an extremely clean dick.
